Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Relationship matters

Why do people get into relationships? Love? Sex? Money? Power? Insecurity? Loneliness? There are many answers to this question. Most of us are brought up to believe that you get into relationships or marriage for love. Every culture has icons who have put their lives on stake for love. Hollywood, Bollywood and so many other movie industries around the world fill their coffers by faring out these idyllic stories to us. The ideals cut across genres in the literary world. The same goes for music, no matter which genre you listen to, its really hard to avoid music that doesn't talk about love in one or the other form.

When all of our popular media is full of these stories fed to all of us from childhood, I'm left to wonder why so many of us decide to chart the path that is destined to bring unhappiness and breed distrust.

You might say that if both parties involved are adults then they are just exercising their right to choose. Point well taken, but we all know that age is not the indicator of maturity. If even one partner is immature about the whole arrangement, or worse, selfish (which, considering the case, goes hand in hand) then what would you say?

Then there is another class of individuals who are in a relationship with someone because they otherwise feel insecure. A recent encounter with such a couple got me thinking, does the other half of the couple not see what was so clear to me? Or has this person intentionally turned a blind eye to this because the relationship also fulfills a superficial need of theirs? In which case should I then not bother about any of this at all?

14 comments:

james said...

Nice, like that, but there are different aspects also which you should cover by seeing the couples around, me and Susan were also discussing on the same issue today and many days just trying to figure it out. Its a very complex matter to discuss, but in rational terms I think it lands up on the platform i.e freedom of choice.

Subir said...

lol yeah. we tend to brush a lot of things under the carpet by using our 'freedom of choice'

PRIANCA said...

good man...!
i mean ,it is actually so true yaar..gr8..good luck..and keep writing these facts.

Subir said...

Yeah I plan to Prianca. Planning another post on marriage ;)

SH said...

hun all i can say is...

Dil to hai dil, dil ka aitbaar kya keeje...aa gaya jo, kisi pe pyar kya keeje...
for some ppl (like me ;)) love to love... i mean its a great feeling so long it lasts.. relationship is different nd more difficult than love... but love rules mate... no matter how much it hurts u... it still makes u feel alive :)

Subir said...

Yeah but what about when the other party isn't in the relationship for love.

CaptivatedWish said...

You reminded me of Carrie Bradshaw's column slightly :P which is always a good thing...I agree very much with ur interpretation on people and theyre baffling reasons for commiting themselves to another. Its all absurd when you see it from the outside and ur not personally involved..but in the haze of the "love crazed sensation" I think we're all pretty helpless...chu know?

Subir said...

ewwwwww @ Carrie Bradshaw. Now I gotta kick ur ass Kathy. yeah I know what u mean though, thats kinda what my friend SH is saying. Kathy, meet Swati. Swati, meet Kathy :p

Arpit Higgins said...

subir. nice. some topic of my interest.. :)
you forgot to put in a very important reason, why people get into a relationship. its called companionship. you may love your dog, but obviously cannot be in a relationship with it. and i dont think people get into a relationship just for sex. when i say this, i mean "just for sex" the relationship wouldnt actually be a relationship to start with. more like a false, or an agreement. whatever. money, power, same reason as above. yes, loneliness, is a valid reason, why people get into relationships.

your own blog's introduction - "I've decided to put pen to paper (or should I say, fingers to keyboard) and not keep all my ideas to myself in the hope that I will find someone who's brain is on the same frequency as mine and together we can try and change the world.", suggests the same need of a companion to achieve the goals you have set.

its like a mirror. when you see yourself in a mirror, you see something. it reflects something. in a way, you get a response. similarly, a relationship happens, usually with a person you like, and believe that something will be reflected or you will get a response, while you're standing, expressing, conversing, loving or whatever, with that related companion of yours.

not all media are completely based on love etc. or even if it is, well love and relationships, it still is one of the most "dilchasp" thing in todays times.

people who are in a relationship just coz they will be insecure otherwise, are unsure bout themselves and will be insecure, even if they are in a relationship. dont take being in a relationship as a need. but it is natural to form relationships. some become on their own, some by your efforts. but the whole point is to have a companion, or maybe your own reflection, when you look in the mirror. unless, you find your oewn shadow more interesting than your own reflection, to begin with...

Subir said...

Damn, that comment is as long as my post :p will get back to it later today.

Julia Scissor said...

One of the 'ups' of being in a relationship is just having someone in your life; whether the partner is a worthy one or not doesn't affect that. Also, as much as loneliness it is the fear of being left alone that makes people 'want' to get into a relationship. Another factor could be that societies, especially traditional ones, stigmatize/ discriminate against singles.

@ arpit: You can publish your comment as an independent post on your own blog. :D
(But I agree with what you have said.)
-Rohini

Annie said...

Interesting... The reason to get into a relationship or exercise a choice in such a matter may vary from person to person. Each individual is a social creature and His/her choice reflects his/her psychological, intellectual, immediate social and cultural personality and maybe much more...

Subir said...

Very true Annie. Thats the bottomline I guess

popsie said...

Well a 'relationship' is rather complicated or so we make it. Philosophers say: love the other without the feeling of 'possession'(since the other ain't an object but a life) and do not expect a return. I don't know how humanly possible this is but if it is, I believe it will solve most problems between couples. Doing away with 'conditioning' of the mind is another hurdle!